A friend sent me this poem a while back, sorry but I don’t know who wrote it.
He wuz one rank bull, PSYCHO wuz his name,
His only purpose in life wuz to inflict pain!
I wuz really depressed, I didn’t have a chance!
Maybe I’d skip all this, and go straight to th’ Dance.
Then what I saw next, made me really sweat;
He had notches on his horns for each victim he’d met!
“HE’S A NIGHTMARE COME TO LIFE,” I heard someone say,
“HOPE YER INSURANCE IS PAID UP, YOU’LL SHORE NEED IT TODAY!”
With encouragement like that, I should’ve gone on back home,
Cuz one thing I’m allergic to, is badly broken bones!
But I climbed on his back, as he stood in th’ chute,
An’ I wrote out my WILL, then stuffed it in my boot.
Now th’ chute boss wuz hollerin’, an’ shakin’ his fists;
“GIT THIS SHOW ON TH’ ROAD, I AIN’T GOT TIME FER THIS!”
So I yanked my hat down, plumb over my ears,
Took a deep firm seat, an’ prepared to shift gears.
With a nod I signaled, “BUT WAIT, I CHANGED MY MIND!”
“NOPE, IT’S TOO LATE!” said someone from behind.
We exploded outta that chute, like a clap o’ thunder,
Th’ gravitational pull almost sucked me under!
He grunted an’ bellered, an’ slobbered everywhere,
He wuz buckin’ so high, I ’bout fainted fer lack o’ air!
But worse came to worse, as he broke into a spin,
I heard th’ announcer call out, “CONTACT HIS NEXT O’ KIN!”
Suddenly my hat flew off, an’ my boots did too!
HECK, I was comin’ undressed ridin’ this wild corkscrew!
When that buzzer finally sounded, I wuz happy as could be;
Cuz I was still on top, an’ he wuz still under me!
Now gittin’ off wuz easy; with such style an’ grace!
I fell like a rock, an’ landed right on my face!
Now th’ clown, he left; he had to take a phone call,
Least that’s whut he said as he jumped over th’ wall.
As I got up from th’ ground; all I could see;
Wuz this huge T-BONE comin’ after me!
Then he hooked an’ stomped me, right there in th’ dirt!
He hit me in places I didn’t know could hurt!
He finally trotted away with his tail in th’ air,
Leavin’ me busted an’ broke, jus’ barely standin’ there.
I waited fer th’ judges, to give out my score,
But they wuz watchin’ this gal, up on row number 4!
They turned an’ smiled, then said with a grin:
“WE DIDN’T CATCH ALL THAT, YOU’LL HAFTA DO IT AGAIN!”